Sai says:
Distance is what makes love possible.
I thought I knew everything there was to know about her. Her favorite color (hm, pink), her least favorite food (strawberry cake) her wishes, her truths, her sadness.
We spent every moment we could together and I thought I knew everything I could possibly know. But all the moment we were together, I saw her as something far away that I wanted to be close with that I wanted to join, something that I wanted to become. Even thought I desired to merge with her, I keep a distance between us, because I feared her passion, her purity. I wanted it to wipe me clean in a blaze of white fire, but I couldn't bring myself close enough to understand it. In the end, I tried to dampen the fire with my own base need to become one. I could not bear her untainted flame.
And now that the distance between us is immense and permanent, my love for her is eternal, perfect, inviolable…and dead.
Distance
By
Kurousa Hime
Sakura let the water wipe her face freely, carrying with it the tears that marred her expression. She had thought she understood, she had thought she knew Sasuke's heart, but she hadn't understood anything. Sakura put her hands up to her eyes, hiding from her mortification while the water ran into the sink, obscuring her sobs.
The time has passed, and so the third period. Still, the tears fell from her eyes as she stared at her miserable reflection in the mirror. Miserable. Pathetic. Wretched. Those words of accusation and excuse flew through her mind one after another.
How could she have been so wrong?
She could clearly remember the day when she had comprehended, for the first time, Sasuke's true feelings. Last year, just after the school festival, when she had seen Sasuke for the first time in almost a week. She had run up to the older man and thrown her arms around him, not caring that it was improper or that someone might see. She had missed her onii-sama terribly or so.
Sasuke's arms had come up, panting, to embrace her, one hand cradling her head, one around her shoulders. For a moment the two held each other close, then Sakura had moved back in the embrace to smile up at Sasuke. The older man hadn't let go, the hand on her head shifting slowly down to Sakura's neck, where it lingered, then down her back and slowly onto her hip. For a brief second the hand remained, then moved away. But not before both hands had moved below the small of her back, and just below the hip, brushing every so slightly on the top of her buttocks.
Sakura stepped back, her face blushing slightly. As she looked into Sasuke's dark eyes, for the first time, Sakura felt not emotional or romantic, but sexual excitement. The path Sasuke's hands had taken burned. She could feel that last lingering moment with a thrill that began and ended deep in her belly.
With a shock, Sakura realized that she had just seen a glimpse of Sasuke's true feelings. And with a second shock, one that left her trembling slightly, she had realized that she wanted exactly the same thing.
It wasn't long, Sakura had noticed, before Sasuke had found an excuse once again to touch her. She wondered at herself – at how blind she'd been. How could she have not noticed? His hair, his collar, a smudge on his face – his handsome onii-sama used any excuse to lay hands on his "little sister." Sakura had watched Sasuke, wondering how long, exactly, this had been going on. The third shock had come later that night, when she had been brushing her hair, and had realized that it had begun the very first moment they had met, when Sasuke had reached out to straighten his collar and tie.
Sakura had had a very hard time sleeping that night.
Naruto says:
Distance is what makes love possible.
It's too easy to lose yourself in the person you love – to believe that their dreams are yours, their needs are yours. Distance is what saves you from drowning in someone else and losing yourself completely.
Without distance, you wake up one day to find there is nothing left of yourself, except for a body that goes through the motions until you are once again in the presence of your lover, only then becoming real. It's a terrible thing to not exist until you see the reflection of yourself in someone else's eyes.
Distance is what you use to define yourself, so you can look at the person you love and see them clearly and love them for what they are, and know that they are doing the same thing to you.
Distance is what makes your love strong.
And so the autumn had passed, Sakura ever more aware of Sasuke's insatiable need to touch and fondle her, and her awareness, now, of her desire to be held by the older man, to be touched, and stroked, and kissed.
Now that Sakura could see the truth, every moment with Sasuke was a pleasant torture. She consciously placed herself in contact with her onii-sama at every opportunity, and purred like a kitten, when Sasuke's hand would touch hers, or stroke her cheek softly. For her part, Sasuke seemed no different, speaking coldly as he always had, or scolding, but Sakura ceased to mind, realizing that this was her onii-sama's way of paying close attention to her.
Spring had come and Sasuke had graduated. Sakura had become a third-year student and Konoha's Room, one of the Presidents of the Student Council. And life had become busier than she had ever imagined it could be. The sheer amount of work she had to balance was almost overwhelming, and without the assistance of the others in the council she could never have hoped to do it successfully.
Her time with Sasuke was cut tremendously, of course. Sasuke had gone on to college, while Sakura now held one-third of the decision-making power at Konoha High School. But she was determined to not lose her relationship with Sasuke – and perhaps, maybe, one day, to cross that last distance between them.
Her opportunity had come just after her graduation.
Sakura had, despite much uncertainty on her own part, passed university exams and was bound for Konoha Junior College at the beginning of the new semester. The day after the graduation ceremony, she had received a welcome call from Sasuke, inviting her out to dinner at an extremely expensive – and romantic - restaurant. Sakura agreed, then spent a frantic week looking for an outfit appropriate for the occasion.
When Sasuke had pulled up in his family's car, Sakura had thanked all the gods she could think of that she had splurged and bought the finest dress she had been able to find.
Sasuke was no less than resplendent in his clothes. Even made up and coifed as he was, Sakura felt positively dowdy next to her onii-sama's supermodel looks. On the way to the restaurant, Sakura could hardly stop looking at Sasuke's face. Oh, he's a very handsome man! Sakura screamed inwardly
Dinner must have been excellent. And Sakura was sure that the wine had been exactly the right complement for each course. But in truth, Sakura had noticed none of it. She had been entirely lost in Sasuke the whole evening long. He wore a white shirt really makes him look more handsome. With a combined blackvest that fits perfectly. Deliberate collar shirt he opened, providing another view that he is very sexy! Oh, of course. One more thing. He rolls his sleeves up to elbow limits. Chicken but his hair still charming. Sakura had eaten, drunk and breathed Sasuke for hours on end, but was not yet sat.
It had been her idea to take a walk. The restaurant had a rooftop balcony, from where they could see central Konoha glimmering.
Sakura had noted appreciatively that the moon was nearly full, and Sasuke had agreed, his voice soft in the cool night air. When Sakura took his hand, Sasuke had said nothing, but had threaded his arm through Sakura's.
At the same time, they had turned their heads towards one another, mouths opened to speak. Sakura had laughed, as had Sasuke. The older man had lifted his hand to gesture for Sakura to speak, when it had happened. Sakura had leapt forward and, taking the hand in her own, had pressed her mouth to Sasuke's. For a moment there was no reaction then, almost automatically, Sasuke had kissed her back.
It had lasted only a second before Sasuke had pushed Sakura away with a shocked look and a surprised utterance.
"Sakura!" As if he could not have said anything else. "Sakura!"
"Onii-…Sasuke…" Sakura had breathed, moving forward once again. But Sasuke had retreated, his hand pressed to her mouth, the other curled against her chest in fist. In that moment, Sakura had realized with a sickening sensation that she had completely, horribly, misunderstood Sasuke's feelings.
She had not breached the distance at all...instead she had done nothing but increase the distance between them, perhaps irreparably.
Gaara says:
Distance is what makes love possible
You see a person, over there, and in a moment, your heart is captured by her. The "fairy of the spring", or the "Man of bitter orange" or whatever poetic image burns itself into your heart and you're lost forever.
All your thoughts are one – desire to get closer, to know that fairy, the see the look in that man's eyes, but you know that your touch would shatter the moment, the perfect image you have. Because art is permanent, poetry is the same words year after year, and paintings do not move. And if you should reach into that scene you will alter it, maybe even destroy it.
So you keep your distance to maintain the perfection of your love.
But love is not art and your man is a human being who will be subject to fits of temper and bad hair days, and poor judgment. And if you are any kind of person at all that is worthy of being loved, you will reach out and touch him, take his hand and love him, bad hair and fits of temper and all, because distance makes love possible – but it doesn't make it real.
The water was off. Sakura could only assume she had done that, but she could not remember having done it. All she could see was the look in Sasuke's eyes, and the fact that she had ruined everything.
Her hands clutched the edge of the sink. Sakura desperately wanted to drown herself, to disappear from this world completely and never be seen again. And out there was Sasuke, maybe in his mind he'll go into his car and drive off into the night to his immense home where he would be protected from Sakura by layers of servants and guards and family.
Which was worse? A world where Sasuke is there, or the one that had none? If he was there, how could Sakura face him again, having betrayed her trust and love? Sakura was never good at hiding things she felt. What would show, as she made her excuses, hunger, defeat, despair, self-loathing? What would Sasuke see, a creepy pervert, a pathetic lost soul….a loser.
Why, Sakura remonstrated with the self in the mirror, why did she think that a hatred for men might mean that Sakura was open to the possibility of being with a man? What had she been thinking? Had she been thinking?
Sakura slid down, her knees giving way to the grief. She had killed the thing she loved, crushed it with her own hands. She crossed her arms on her knees and sobbed without tears into her own embrace. So wrapped up in misery, Sakura barely heard the door to the bathroom open, and it was another long moment before she thought to look up.
Sakura saw, with horror, Sasuke gazing down upon her with pity clearly visible in his eyes. Of all possibilities, this one she had not even considered. That Sasuke would try and rescue her from her misery. She shrank into herself, hoping to look so wretched that Sasuke would be disgusted and walk away.
"Sakura?" His voice was the same as always, soft, commanding, a slight question at the end of his name. Sakura felt nauseous at the gentleness.
"Sakura?" The tone was changed this time, a genuine question that Sakura didn't know the answer to. What would she say? What did Sasuke want to hear?
"I'm sorry." Sakura's voice was so soft that she wasn't sure she had spoken the words. But someone had said them. No, both of them had said them, at the same time.
"Y-you're sorry?" Sakura's voice was so rough it didn't even sound like her. Then she realized why Sasuke would be sorry – sorry that Sakura thought she was that kind of person.
"I'm sorry for scaring you." Sasuke said, his voice full of remorse. "I…" his eyes moved away from Sakura's, his face red. "I…had planned a romantic dinner for us and…." His eyes moved wildly around the bathroom, not seeing anything, but obviously avoiding Sakura's gaze. Sasuke's eyes closed and he reached out to take Sakura's hands in her own. Standing, he guided Sakura to his feet. Once they were both standing, Sasuke's eyes opened and he sighed heavily. "You made the first move." His voice was so quiet that Sakura had to strain to hear the words. "I thought…" Sasuke was practically mouthing the words, his voice was so thin. "I thought that since I was the onii-sama…" the words disappeared into mortified silence, while Sakura sought to understand.
"I'm sorry, onii-sama, I…" Sakura tried to get her mouth to frame an excuse. It was the wine, she settled on. She wasn't used to drinking and...
"Sasuke."
"Hn?"
"You called me Sasuke back there. Please…" the older man's voice came through heaving breaths. "Please say my name."
Sakura's brain went blank. All she could see were two red lips. All she could feel were two hands holding hers in a crippling grip. And all she could hear was a breathless request for her to repeat the greatest sin she had ever committed.
"S-Sasuke," she began then felt those lips pressed against hers and those arms around him. After a moment, almost automatically, her own arms went around Sasuke's waist.
It wasn't until much later, after the sun had risen, and the black car had dropped his back off at her home, that Sakura would forever have to remember her first kiss with Sasuke, the first of many, had been in a ladies' room in a restaurant.
Distance is what makes love possible, but not what makes love real.
T H E E N D
Author Bacot Area
Me : I'm very grateful to my boyfriend because getting help from him, this fanfic can be done easily. Especially since I'm very bad at english. I hope that readers want to forgive my shortcomings. Thank you and have a nice day!
Dai : The editor
First this is not the worst possible fanfic in english that i've ever seen. But, since it's my girlfriend fic. I feel so ashamed. Sorry everyone for many mistake (most have been edited by me but not all,because i didn't really know what she mean by writting it)
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